Be The Person Who Breaks The Cycle

Your past is not your destiny.

James E. McGinley, PhD
2 min readJul 30, 2022
Young man looking intently out a window.
Photo by Demeter Attila on Pexels

The greatest gift that we can give to ourselves and give to others is to heal. But healing is difficult. In part because it means that we have to find a way to step out of conditions that hold us down, trap us in behaviors that we know are not healthy, and prevent us from becoming who we really are.

Life is a story. But it is a narrative that we write.

Somehow, we have to find the energy, courage, support, and determination to break free from the past. We have to remember that we have self-agency. We may not control others or all of our circumstances, but we control ourselves. We can make a difference in our own lives.

Sometimes, we just need to write a new chapter.

Our pain is often our best teacher. It gives us the drive and commitment to find freedom, protect others from what we have been through, and to look at the troubled world with compassion.

I ran across this; it reflects this perspective.

If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting. Vow to be better. Heal instead of becoming bitter. Act from your heart, not your pain.



James E. McGinley, PhD

James McGinley, PhD is a professor, author, certified life coach, and licensed counselor.